we are well paid

i am guilty of slipping into vocalized fear about having enough to get by on the small income that we have. truthfully, twice in the last three weeks i have been in tears of worry and self-pity over the bottom-of-the-barrel numbers in our checking and savings accounts. i know that we chose this life, this small income, it’s not that we can be called victims of an unjust system. technically, i know we could probably move a few rungs up on the ladder, but that isn’t where our Father has led us, and so that isn’t where we’ve gone.

but in these times when i give into fear, or talk too loudly about limited income, or mention all those things we “can’t afford,” i paint this picture that makes it seem like to follow Jesus is almost akin to being an economic martyr.

it isn’t.

i need to give testimony to this: we are paid well; we are living in abundance. our boss is our Dad, and our Dad is very rich.

this morning, as every morning, i ate fresh fruit, organic eggs, and wholesome homemade kefir. i drove a really nice car (borrowed) to the chiropractor’s office and got an adjustment that i didn’t have to pay for. i’ve gone out to a coffee shop and sipped a hot chai latte twice this week. last week we had to buy a new water heater, but because we had just gotten our WI tax return, we had just enough to pay for it without accruing any debt at all. without help, we were able to come up with all the funds necessary to make a down payment on our home, and to fix it up. and we got a washer and a drier, as well as all the furniture for our baby’s nursery, given to us. we haven’t missed a single payment on any bill in the course of our marriage for lack of funds. we get to have people over for dinner and host pilgrims generously; we get to visit spiritual and biological family in other cities just as much as anyone. and as i sit here writing this, i am devouring an entire bar of organic milk chocolate.

the Lord is my shepherd, i shall want for nothing. i will trust Him and not be afraid.

His provision always comes, and always in perfect time. sometimes it comes through the offer of a job for pay, or picking up an extra shift at work. sometimes He prompts someone to share/give to us items that we need, or to just give us cash. sometimes we get checks from unexpected sources for odd reasons (like a refund check for having overpaid on car insurance). sometimes things are on sale. sometimes we’re able to barter services. and through it all, He is teaching us to revel in the beauty and freedom of simplicity and thrifting. and He shows our hearts what is really necessary and what is not, giving us grace to let go of the frills.

i am wealthy. my goodness, i am so rich.

forgive me for all the times that i slip into fear and worry and self-pity, because it always turns out to be unnecessary.

hear this: being in the family business with Papa is a secure livelihood; it is stable employment in a depressed economy. and it comes with the best work environment and co-workers imaginable.

whatever small sacrifices we have made, or sacrifices we are now making to be obedient to Jesus, we have received it all back and then some, both here on earth and one day in heaven. it’s joy.

I was young and now I am old,
yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken
or their children begging bread.
They are always generous and lend freely;
their children will be a blessing.

(Psalm 37:25-26)

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

(Philippians 4:11-13)