building a family, with all the monotonous day in and day out nurturing it requires, the work of keeping up the physical space of a home that is lovely and still so that each can rest and be refreshed, with all the mopping up of bodily fluids, with all the training and redirecting and explaining, with the attempts to model a life worth emulating and to be a person worth following by the tiniest disciples…
this is rich and rewarding work.
these days i finally feel sunk down into the great privilege it is to do this work, which is so boring on the outside but so fundamentally important to the foundations of my children’s souls, my husband’s confidence in his sphere’s of responsibility, and the world that each of them will impact both now and in the future.
it’s also hard. and some days — like today! — i’ll whine about the loss of efficiency and personal space, about the strain of being tugged at and sat on all day long, about the round-the-clockness of the work.
but i’m grateful. i’m really so grateful that i get to be here for it all, not tucked away in an office somewhere, nor letting the tyranny of a religious spirit drive me to performing many heroic acts of daily martyrdom (that may have the appearance of godliness but lacks power to really change me).
with the days of “full time ministry” behind me for now, i get to be sanctified at home! patience gets a chance to be put on and practiced a zillion times a day. i get to choose a gracious tongue instead of a quick tongue. i get to invite my children to step past their emotional reactions and into thoughtful and loving responses. i get to die a million small deaths every single day: sadly turning away from that moment of personal time i had hoped to have so that i can resettle a restless child, listening actively to my husband process his day when i would rather read a book or drop off to sleep, or choosing to share the last of the berries with my daughter when i would have rather eaten them all myself. 😉
my Father is with me in this place of mothering and wifing and home-making. it’s not outside of the realms where He uses and teaches His kids how to live up their high calling. I’m not disqualified from a rich and deep walk with God just because my days are organized around diaper changes, naps, and play dates. does this sound obvious to you? if so, you have been wiser than i, because honestly i feel like i’m only just now beginning to believe these things!
so this is my work, and i’ll do it with my whole heart.
all of this to say that i am full of gratitude for the life He’s given me to live, the role He’s given me to play in this season. it is gift.