today’s mail brought an official document: the sort that you’re probably supposed to frame and hang on your office wall.
it was a certificate of ordination.
in some ways, it doesn’t mean much. i mean, it changes virtually nothing in terms of the work he does or the way he moves through this world as a minister of the gospel.
it does have some implications for how we do our taxes, and perhaps for certain sub-sections of supporters and watchers of the boiler room it will cause them to feel more reassured about the legitimacy of it all.
but mostly this feels like a fun piece of paper to celebrate something he’s been for a long while already.
i’m also looking at this piece of paper and all the implications that it carries, and i see that i am now more officially a pastor’s wife. which i wanted to be for a long while in college. and then i didn’t want to be one at all! and now what the word pastor means to me has changed so completely from what it had meant, that i feel actually pretty neutral about the title; it certainly feels less lofty. except that i know this piece of paper is one more outward sign of a commitment that we’ve made as a family to a particular life path. this little piece of paper seems to say, “there’s no turning back. this is your road now. you’ve been set apart until further notice. be true.”
it also just so happens that today Tony sent us a link to this really great article by Tim Keller’s wife, called The Dangers of “Faking It” in Ministry. it’s real good. it cautions and exhorts me. if we’re going to do this, i want to be the real deal. but i have some fear and trembling about the dangers she describes in this article, because i am no stranger to their temptations, their constant presence at the fringes of our life.
God, give us grace. Love us enough to keep us real, even if it hurts.