i’ve taken to afternoon napping. when hazel goes down, i start a load of laundry, then climb into bed with a book, reading until my eyelids get droopy and i can easily submit to the sleep i’ve been yearning for all day up until that point. it’s difficult to choose to sleep, rather than to push through the fatigue and get to the extensive list of household and work-related tasks i could be (should be?) doing.
i’m not naturally a napper. i tend to judge napping as lazy and unproductive. i tend to feel a little emotionally icky upon rising from a nap, taking up to an hour to bounce back. so i avoid naps.
why then does a nap-avoider choose to take up an afternoon napping habit?
friends, there is only two reasons i nap: vacation or pregnancy.
i’m not on vacation, so…
here’s the story:
baby collier #2 is on the way! today i am 12 weeks along. (s)he will make an appearance on the tail end of winter, sometime in early march. (s)he will be born at home, just like his/her sister hazel was.
we’re so pleased, so excited to welcome another little into our family. this babe and hazel will be 21 months apart, which feels just about perfect to me.
and now i have to tell you a little story about the conception of this little one. (no, it won’t be graphic, i promise!)
you see, i wanted to be pregnant again way back in november. i was praying about it, trying to quiet my own desires long enough to hear God’s voice. and amongst the things that i heard were: “stop trying” and “june”. the first word seemed odd since we were NOT trying (tim didn’t feel ready). the second word was a little disappointing to me because it was so much further off than i hoped.
and so i began to question that maybe that wasn’t really God. and my impatient heart didn’t heed the counsel to stop trying. in fact, in february we started trying. i charted my cycles and we took advantage of the peak windows of fertility. and each of the three months that we tried, i thought we nailed it and i’d surely get a positive pregnancy test. nope. in spite of doing everything right, no positive pregnancy test.
in june, i told tim i wanted to be more casual about it. i wasn’t going to chart, i wasn’t going to get obsessively focused on it as i had the previous months. i didn’t want to work so hard to make it happen, because then it would feel especially disheartening if it didn’t. additionally, i wanted to honor that word of “stop trying” in my heart. in june we went on a couple of trips. we enjoyed them, fully present, not preoccupied with attempting pregnancy. and in june – the month Papa had told me way back in november — this baby was conceived.
i tell you this just to testify to the fact that He is faithful to His word even when we’re faithless. if He speaks to you, trust it (note to self for future situations).
so, that’s that. i’ll post a belly photo when i have a belly worth photographing… or when i get around to it. 🙂