at some point, the affection became purposeful. i remember the first time. we were playing on the floor of the nursery and suddenly she just nestled her head into my neck and stayed there. quiet. soft. i was seated in a rather uncomfortable position, but i felt like i could hold it forever if she would only remain nestled there that way. which she did for many moments. my heart melted afresh.
and since then, this is more common. “do you have a kiss for mama?” i’ll say, and she’ll immediately push her head and face into my chest or my face. she does the same for her baby friends miles and landon and lilia. and sometimes she pats my back or my chest or my face with such affection and a light in her eyes. you can tell she is actively — purposefully — expressing love. i don’t imagine it gets much better than this.
tonight tim tried to put her to sleep for the night while i was away photographing an engagement session. but i returned to find her still very much awake. at the sight of me she flapped her arms, smiled, and began scooting toward me, then lay her head in my lap. tim reported that even as he had been snuggling her for 20 minutes with hopes of her falling to sleep, she suddenly started making raspberries at the 15 minute mark. she just wanted to be cuddled and close and playful, not to go to sleep. it’s hard to resist a cuddly baby. and so i guess we kept her up a little later tonight than we “should” have.
i’m okay with that.