we can recognize the presence of the Holy Spirit in our desires even in the midst of overwhelming boredom with our service to God, constant temptations, and almost complete inability to perform any spiritual activity with attention much less with devotion. in this state not only do we experience God as distant, but we experience ourself at all levels of our being as moving away from God. often this state is referred to as ‘spiritual desolation.’ this experience can last for days, weeks, months or even years. it is important to be convinced of the fact that as long as desire is present, God is present. for our desire flows from the deepest level of our being, a level deeper than the experience of temptation, boredom and frustration with our spiritual life. we hang onto the desire to love and serve God with naked faith, with no support from the other dimensions of our being. often this state is a prelude to a deeper union with God because it helps us purify our motivation. we learn whether we are loving and serving God for the peace and consolation it brings us or for God’s own sake. as we surrender our attachment to peace and consolation, our hearts are purified and God emerges more clearly as the center of our lives.
— Richard Hauser, Moving in the Spirit, pg 32-33
i remember that i want to be a friend of God.
i want to walk in the Spirit.
i want to be united with Christ.
(these are the deepest desires, unchanging even in seasons of drought, frustration and fear).
the Spirit is holding my desire to God.