now i wear this small silver ring

Engagement Ring and Lilies

now I wear this small silver ring on the most significant finger
and what it says to me when I look at it is this:
that I am saying yes to him; I am promised
and what it says to him when he looks at it is this:
he has made a down-payment on a pearl of great price;
has vowed to give himself to me as a husband

so now when I look him in the eye I see
decades unfurling before us like gentle rolling tides
I see how we dance with one another now
and imagine how we’ll dance when we are old
when I hold his hand or stroke his arm
I realize that this flesh is merely a part
of the whole flesh that will one day soon be One Flesh
I carry the weighty wonder of knowing that
we will be each other’s never-leavers
we’ll spend this entire earth-living life
belonging to one another

and here is how it happened:
after the blessings of fathers granted
and so much careful scheming accomplished,
be took me to a rooftop at sunset
with the expanse of a city not our own stretched out before us
and a room full of a hundred and fifty family-of-God friends
exploring the father heart of God together downstairs
and there was specially commissioned graffiti art
from our dread-headed friend
and a poem in a shirt pocket
a ring in a pants pocket
there were lilies there
and he (my lover, my friend) kneeled before me
when he said, “brooke, will you be my wife?”

there were things we’d saved up for this day
like the first kiss of lips on lips
and the words “I love you”
so that both of these are
forever first of all about commitment
and second about pleasure and romanticism
sweetly co-existing in this rightly-ordered way

do you know how I replied?
mostly it was with squealing
and jumping up and down excitedly
as i thought how this is really happening –
this thing I have waited over a decade for –
and with such a man as this
with whom I entrust my entire being
because he’s a whole lot like Jesus
I found myself unafraid and free to say
“yes, with all my heart.”

now I will kiss him with the kisses of my mouth and
I will love him with my life and my hands and my heart
I will love him love him love him
all the way Home

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